Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
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