why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
Randomize
