You just made me feel so damn special
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
Randomize
