I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Randomize
