your room smells of hookers.
And success
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
Randomize
