And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
