and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
I DEMAND FORESKIN
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
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