i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Randomize
