Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Randomize
