So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
found the other keg... it's in the tree
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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