oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
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He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
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UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
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