The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
Randomize
