I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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