It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
