My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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