I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
that may or may not have been my penis.
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