What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Randomize
