Pants 0. Shit 1.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
Randomize
