Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
I'm determined to sit on that face.
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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