Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
i think my tv is drunk
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
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