You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
