Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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