hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
I CAN MOONWALK!
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
