According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
Randomize
