im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
