My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
