hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
