this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
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