you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
