So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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