i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
