Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Randomize
