yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
