He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
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