The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize
