Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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