That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
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