You can't motorboat a personality
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Randomize
