last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
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