can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
