last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
Randomize
