How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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