i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize
