He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
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That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
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I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
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