this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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