highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
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we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
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