I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
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this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
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I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
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