hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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