No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
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