well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize
