the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
