I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
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