i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
