wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Randomize
