too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
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