that's an acceptable place to lick
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
