When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
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